Quietlaughter

I was away for the first time this year for New Years and without reliable access to the internet. It was (probably) the first time in well over 12 years (I can’t remember even before that being away). My year, by default, began unlike any other year. I was thinking about this morning as I was driving to work. Two things rose up out of the 40 minutes that I was in the car. One – I wondered if my toes would ever thaw out, because we are having a very cold snap at the moment – it is -12C and I forgot to put my boots on. The second thought that was going through my head was about an old Sufi story titled “Trust in Allah but tether your camel first”. I don’t know why that story was retelling itself in my head. By coincidence, I just learned that a year ago – I was thinking about that same story.

I decided to search through some old journal entries, to discover what resolutions, if any, I had made, and came across the first entry I wrote (Jan.1) and wouldn’t you know it was there. I will take it as a friendly reminder from myself – to be mindful and be prepared. I also had to laugh because every year, I say that I don’t like to make New Year’s resolutions, and every year I do anyway. I make them, knowing full well that I will likely not be able to keep them

I say this every year – I don’t like to make New Year’s resolutions, and it is very true, I don’t. I couldn’t remember exactly what I had resolved to do last year at this time, which is a sure sign that I have failed to complete the task that I had set out for myself. It is possible, I suppose, that I did in fact succeed but since I can’t remember the details.

In going back through my journal from that past year and I had a good look at what I wrote. I resolved to do two things. 1. To write more. 2. To share what I think more. I can’t really say that I have succeeded fully on either one. To a point yes, but only for a small portion of the year did I make the time to write. Lately, that has very much fallen off, though recently I have made my way back again to the page (thanks to the writing workshop that I have joined). For that reason, I will keep both for this year as well. Another resolution I think I will add to the list is this: reduce. Reduce in general terms – materially, emotionally, physically, and in the process of reducing, I will expand mindfulness and seek out a better balance for myself, my life, and everyone/ everything,

In a year’s time I will come back to this post, and the one from the year before, and see how the threads have woven their way into my life – if they did, where the thread might have broken, and why it did.  For now though – I will find another pair of socks, button up my sweater a little tighter, and add one more thing before I go… it is a portion of a speech made by Martin Luther King Jr. in 1963 called Eulogy for the Martyred Children. It seems quite relevant right now to me:

Now I say to you in conclusion,

Life is hard,

At times as hard as crucible steel.

It has its bleak and difficult moments.

Like the ever-flowing waters of the river,

Life has its moments of drought and its moments of flood.

Like the ever-changing cycle of the seasons

Life has the soothing warmth of its summers

And the piercing chill of its winters.

But if one will hold on,

He will discover that God walks with him,

And that God is able to lift you from the fatigue of despair

To the buoyancy of hope

And transform dark and desolate valleys

Into sunlight paths of inner peace.

~

Love each other, love yourself – open your wings and fly.

la